What my day entailed…
Today I had my first experience assisting in a funeral for a
very loved Sudanese man. He was clearly a community leader of sorts based on
the comments and response
As I pulled up to “Downtown Cactus” as the guys call it, I
saw a group of Sudanese men talking and waiting to get a ride to Dumas. My
first thought – they will not all fit in here! They did not all fit in my van
but a 7 passenger can hold 8 (later I learned it could hold 9) Sudanese men
(who FYI are not small). We loaded up and headed to Dumas. Why? Uncle J.J. had
passed on Feb. 27th from dehydration and today was his funeral. I
never officially met Uncle J.J., as far as I know. I recognized him when I saw
his body today. He was a very loved man of the community who showed great honor
and respect to all people and to all Africans in Cactus. The positive words
spoken about him were many.
The funeral was advertised to start at 10am. Officially it
was scheduled to start at 11am. It started at 11:30. There were a good 50+
people in attendance. Most were Sudanese however there were other Africans
(Somalis and Kenyans) and even a couple non-Africans. I had the privilege of being a part of officiating
the service. I opened with a word of greetings and scripture and then closed
out the service.
One of the discoveries we have had in working with the
Sudanese in particular is the reality of alcohol and drug abuse. Already in the
two services of the African Mission Church of the Nazarene we have had some
disruption due to attendees being drunk or high. The funeral was no different.
As I am guessing is customary, everyone had opinions, comments, and not many
were afraid to share them. So those who were drunk or high or having other
issues made a lot of commotion. At one point I chose to “step in” and try to
calm one guy down by hearing what he wanted to ask and then firmly (and nicely)
telling him it was his last question till the end of the service. Needless to
say it was a service very different than any I had been in before.
My favorite part of being involved with the Sudanese is the
music. They sing – all the time. The Sudanese crammed into my van on the way to
Dumas for the funeral sang the whole 15 minutes. One would start a song and the
rest would just fall right in singing. Although I cannot understand Dinka, it
was beautiful to hear. The music for the funeral service was just the same.
Some was planned already by Pastor Michael Gatkek. Other times, someone in the service
would just start out singing and we would all join in. This happened many times
through the time I was with them.
As people shared about Uncle J.J., I realized how important
the idea of “community” is to these people. There were comments to shame them
for not helping Uncle J.J. and there were comments about how they have to help
each other. There were comments about the need for unity and mutual
encouragement. I realized that the simple help I have given to start the
African Mission was a step toward creating opportunities for community
gatherings, etc. I think we find individual
units, small family units, and small friend units to be the extent of our
community needs. However, for the Africans, community is all coming together
and working toward a better life.
After some singing, prayer, and many comments in English,
Dinka, and possibly Neur, Pastor Michael Gatkek gave a great message about
death not being the end for those who have a relationship with Jesus Christ. It
was a message calling everyone into a relationship with God. It did not matter
if there were Muslims in attendance (which there were) the gospel message was
preached and God will use it.
I gave the closing, which was interrupted by a song (I
didn’t mind at all!), and prayed with them. Culturally a funeral in Sudan is an
open casket funeral. The Sudanese really wanted and needed to be able to see Uncle
J.J. and pay their last respects. When Uncle J.J. passed he had no family in
the area, no life insurance, or anything like that. It was up to his friends to
take care of the burial costs. Morrison Funeral Home in Dumas gave the Sudanese
friends of Uncle J.J. a great price for a casket, plot to burry, and chapel to
have service. For only $3,000 they received all they thought they needed and it
was as deal. However, embalming was not included. Since $3,000 is a lot of
money for them, it took about 3 weeks to raise it all. During that time (as indiscrete
as it might sound) Uncle J.J. was on ice.
When the Sudanese brothers came to pay the bill and finalize
arrangements for the service they specifically asked for an open casket. The
funeral director graciously let them know that because he was not embalmed the
casket could not be opened due to the smell and so forth. The funeral home
graciously agreed to opening the casket for about 5-10 minutes. The key however
came in explaining to the Sudanese why the casket could not be opened and how
the “view” part of the service would go. God is good! He gave us the right
words, and everyone had an opportunity to pay respect and say goodbye quickly
and efficiently. Yes the body did smell. But being able to give closure for
many of these men and women was worth it. I definitely was impressed with how
the Funeral home handled serving the Sudanese.
Following the conclusion of the “viewing” we all piled in
our vehicles and drove to the cemetery.
I proceeded with the basic Manual graveside service and prayed with and
for the Sudanese specifically and Africans as a whole. After this we watched as
the casket was lowered into the grave site. Then starting with any family and
friends they begin to toss handfuls of dirt into the grave site. People cried,
people fell to the ground in grief, and people prayed.
As we waited for the hole to be completely filled we mingled
and milled around. I was able to meet new brothers I had not met yet. Some who
had just moved to Cactus. I also took the opportunity to talk with the Somalis.
I met Mona and began to explain who I was and what I am doing in Cactus. She
also then opened up about what she is working toward. She is working toward
starting a non-profit organization that specifically helps refugees to
assimilate (acculturate) into American culture. We talked about partnering
together, etc. and thus serving the Cactus and area. In the conversation it was
brought up that she is the daughter of the owners of the Somalian restaurant in
Cactus and that her father is the leader of the Somalian community in Cactus.
In addition, I asked some questions about the mosque and specifically if there
was an Imam (Muslim priest, leader). In considering ministering or serving to
Muslims, it is very important to have someone who can introduce you to the Muslim
community. She indicated a willingness to introduce me to the Imam. I gave her
my card, and am praying she will contact me soon so that Jenni and I can meet
with her, find out how we can help each other, and begin opening doors into the
Muslim community.
After the hole was filled in, we all gathered again for more
singing and Michael really pushed hard on the substance abuses, especially
alcohol and the need to help each other.
He then prayed for everyone. At this point it was almost 2pm. I had left
my house at 9:40 that morning and now it was almost 2 and I still needed to
drop of some of the guys in Cactus. The majority went to Amarillo to have a
meal and sometime of fellowship. I had other commitments with the W&W team
that was in town.
We piled more Sudanese (8 this time) into the van and took
them home. I was able to talk to one of the most disrupt of all the substance
abusers all the way back to Cactus as he sat in the front seat. For whatever
reason, those who were in my van where the ones who have had problems with
being disruptive—clearly God has a plan!
After a wonderful time, honestly a time I won’t easily forget,
with the Sudanese I made it back to Dumas Church of the Nazarene to help with a
small orientation for two youth groups who were going to be helping Pastor Elda
with showing the Jesus Film. After the orientation, I led the youth groups up
to Cactus and handed them off to Pastor Elda. Then the kids and I took a break!
Watched a few episodes of Disney’s Lab Rats and rested until we returned to
Dumas.
We ate with the team in Dumas and presented a short
presentation on what is going on in Cactus and how we got involved. Overall we
just had a great time fellowshipping
with the team. After this we returned home in s crazy servere wind storm
with some moments of zero visibility. I then when to check on the youth groups
and the Jesus Film. I arrived at the time of prayer, and waited out of the
sanctuary till it was over. I then spent some time hanging out with the people
of the congregation, eating a nacho snack with them, and talking about their
lives, what their sound system needs are, and how the ministry center was
coming along and honestly our vision and dream for the ministry center.
Of
course these conversations were all in Spanish. I had to pay attention well to
hear when they were speaking Quiche. Usually when all of sudden I could not
understand them anymore I would realize they had switched languages on me!
It was a long day. It was a multicultural day. It was one of
those days I stop and say “THANK YOU, GOD!” This is clearly why we are here!
